Cow Jokes
  What is a cows favorite hair style?

A Moohawk!
(Thanks, Maggie)
  Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work!
(Thanks, Hannah)
If a cow laughed really hard...
 would milk come out of her nose?
What did the bored cow say when she got up in the morning? 

It's just an udder day!
How does a farmer count a herd of cows? 

With a Cowculator!

What does the word "Pasteurize" mean?

Too far to see!

What do you get from a cowmedian?

Cream of Wit!

  Why don't cows have any money?

Obama has milked them dry!
  Why does a milking stool have only three legs? 

Because the cow has the udder!

What kind of milk comes from forgetful cows?

Milk of Amnesia!

What is a cows favorite moosical note?


  What do you call a cow that has just given birth?

  What do you get if you cross a steer and a chicken?

Roost Beef!

What are the spots on black & white cows?


How did the farmer find his lost cow?

He tractor down!

  What did the cow wear to the football game?

A Jersey!
  Where do Russian cows come from?


What do cows wear in Hawaii?


What do you call a cow that doesn't give milk?

A Milk Dud or an Udder Failure!

  What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck?

Milk and Quackers!
  Did you hear about the snobby cow?

She thought she was a cutlet above the rest!

What do cows get when they are sick?

Hay Fever!

What do you get if you cross a cow with a spaniel and a poodle?

A cocker-poodle-moo!

  What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space?

Steer Wars!
  Where did the bull carry his stock-market report?

In his beef-case!
What do cows like to read during breakfast?

The moos-paper!

What Has Four Legs And An Arm?

A Happy Pit Bull
(Is this a cow joke?) LOL

  What is a cow's favorite band?

Moody Blues!
  What do you get from a pampered cow?

Spoiled Milk!

Have you heard of the dyslexic cow who attained enlightenment?

It kept on repeating OOOOMMM!

What did one dairy cow say to another?

Got Milk?

  What are a cows favorite subjects in school?

Moosic, Psycowolgy, and Cowculus!
  What kind of car does a cow drive?

A Cattelac!
A bum steer is a worthless bull.
Ground beef is a cow sitting down.
A stockholder is a corral for cattle.
What do you call cattle with a sense of humor?

Laughing stock!

  Where is a cow's happiest place on earth?

In Cowifornia!
   How do cows chat online?

They instant moossage each other!
When is a farmer like a magician?

When he turns his cow into a pasture!

What is it when one cow spies on another cow?

A steak out!

  What do you get from an invisible cow?

Evaporated milk!
  What is a cow's favorite lunch meat?

What happened to the lost cattle?

Nobody's herd!

  What US state has the most cows?

  Did you hear about the Patriotic Cow?

She joined the Cowvary!

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